


The Secret Keeper

by mayOnays



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, School Drama, literally just their life story, roxxxy hates trixie, time span of like sixteen or so years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-07-12 13:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15996584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayOnays/pseuds/mayOnays
Summary: After a huge secret ruins Trixie's life, she moves away for a fresh start. New friendships are to be made, new adventures are to be had, but the secret still looms over Trixie; threatening to ruin everything once more





	1. Chapter One

Running down the path towards her house, Trixie looked behind her. She could no longer see the girl that was running after her. She knew she brought this on herself and that she shouldn’t have threw that first punch, but after being teased for years on end, Trixie finally snapped. With her chest rapidly rising and falling, she slowed down to a fast walk. She knew that she was safe now that she was a far distance from her school, but she couldn’t slow down the beating of her heart from the sheer panic that she still felt.

Her house came into view and she knew what awaited her once she walked inside. Her mother would wipe the dried blood off of her face with a wet cloth, whilst her step-father would chastise her about toughening up. This wasn’t the first time that this has happened, and she definitely knew that it wasn’t going to be the last. Though this time it was different, because this time the entire school was involved. Every single student was shouting at her and teasing her, and at that moment she had never felt so alone.

She could feel the breath leave her lungs faster than she could inhale it. She didn’t know what to do. She had absolutely no one to turn to because she lost all of her friends once Kim moved schools and her parents just simply didn’t understand. Her mum was the only person that she could be honest with, the only person that knew the real Trixie, the only person that she trusted. But she couldn’t even turn to her any more because approximately seven months and eleven days ago, she had brought her new partner home. And this new partner hated Trixie more than all of those girls back at school, he hated her more than her mother’s last partner, he hated her more than she currently hated herself and that was a tough one to beat. He hated her, without even knowing the real her.

Sighing, she takes the final few steps towards her house. The car wasn’t in the driveway, which meant that at least her stepdad wasn’t at home, and if luck was on her side her mother wouldn’t be home either. Luck hasn’t been on Trixie’s side in a long time, and it definitely wasn’t there when she walked through the door.

‘Trixie, darling, is that you?’ Her mum shouted from the kitchen, where she was most likely already cooking dinner, even though it was barely four in the afternoon.

‘Yeah, ma,’ Trixie sighed, ‘It’s just me’

Trixie shrugged her coat off, wincing as she touched the bruises that were already forming on her arms. Kicking her shoes off in the general direction of the shoe stand, she made her way towards the stairs, in hopes that her mum was too busy cooking to come and see her.

‘Trix? You haven’t said hello to your beautiful, wonderful, in need of a cuddle, mother’

Trixie took a deep breath, even though her ribs protested, and she stopped walking up the stairs. Though she willed herself not to turn around. She didn’t want her mum to see the marks that were darkening on her skin as the seconds ticked by. This was wrong, and she knew it was wrong. Her mum was there for her no matter what happened but she knows that today’s events were far worse than any of the previous ones, and she already knew that her mum had decided to enrol her at a different school if she kept coming home in tears.

A knock on the door interrupted Trixie’s thoughts, and the sounds of her mother’s footsteps retreating away from her made her relax slightly.

‘Hi, Miss Mattel, is Trixie home?’

Trixie turned around so fast that her head started to spin. She grabbed at the wall to hold herself upright, but the blood kept spinning behind her eyes. Her breath got caught in her throat and she could feel the panic rise within her. Fight or flight mode started to kick in, and she wasn’t sure whether she was going to run up to the door and punch that girl or if she was going to run up to her room and lock herself in there forever. But before she had the chance to make up her mind, she saw her mother looking directly at her, eyes bulging and mouth slightly open.

‘Sorry, Roxxxy, dear. I haven’t seen Trix since she left for school this morning. Is everything okay?’ Her mother turned back to the girl at the door and smiled sweetly.

‘Yeah, we’re good. I found her phone on the floor a couple streets back and I wanted to see her before I gave it back to her.’ Roxxxy held the pink phone in Trixie’s eyeline – she could imagine the smirk that is adorning her face as she lies.

‘I’ll take it. Thank you for coming round,’ Trixie’s mum snatches the phone out of Roxxxy’s hand, promptly closes the door behind her and turns around to look at Trixie, ‘Beatrice?’

Tears started pooling in Trixie’s eyes and she brought her hands up to her face to muffle her loud sobs. The muscles in her arms protested and the pressure of her hands on her bloody nose was painful. She felt warm arms wrap around her bruised and fragile body, and she latched onto her mum’s knitted jumper as tight as she her sore fingers would let her. Her cries got worse as she rested her face in her mother’s neck, and she could feel herself losing control.

‘They know. They all k-know’ She cried, not lifting her head from where it was rested.

‘Know what, Trix?’ Her mother asked gently, rubbing her hands through Trixie’s hair and along her back.

‘Roxxxy told everyone. S-she read my e-emails wi-th Doc-doctor Da-Davis’ Trixie let go of her mum’s jumper and slowly slid to the floor.

‘Trixie, baby. I really think that it’s time to move school,’ Her mum whispered, crouching down next to Trixie and placing her hand on Trixie’s shoulder. Trixie gave no response, ‘How about you go upstairs and clean up before Peter gets back and I’ll phone up your school to tell them that you won’t be returning? We can find a new school tomorrow, okay?’

Wordlessly, Trixie reached out to embrace her mum and took her phone limply in her hand. She slowly made her way upstairs, not completely trusting her shaking legs. She tried to hold onto the handrail, but her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Tears kept brimming in her eyes, causing her vision to blur and her to trip several times.

Reaching her room, she threw herself onto her bed and buried her face in her pillows. No one at her school was ever told about her secret before – except for the teachers, of course, and she intended to keep it that way. She doesn’t understand how Roxxxy got a hold of her emails, or how she had her phone. She never left her phone anywhere and she never, ever opened those emails when she was on school property. The only person from that school that knew about her secret was Kim, but Kim moved schools just under a year ago and Trixie solely believed that Kim would not throw Trixie under the bus after being friends for ten years.

Kim.

Trixie reached over to her side, reaching under her blankets and around her pillows trying to find her phone. How did she just lose it when she literally put it right next to her? She groaned and stood up, picking up her blankets and throwing them around – immediately regretting doing so when her phone falls onto the floor. Rolling her eyes, she picked it up and made sure there were no dents or scratches, thanking the god that she doesn’t believe in when she sees that her phone is okay.

**To Kim – 16:27**

**Guess who needs to find a new school asap :’(**

 

**From Kim – 16:28**

**Hold on, what? Why?**

 

**To Kim – 16:30**

**Roxxxy found out and told everyone**

 

**From Kim – 16:30**

**What do you mean? Do you need me to come round? Are you okay?**

 

**To Kim – 16:34**

**Everyone laughed and took the piss. I punched Roxxxy and then she practically attacked me. Feel like death**

 

**From Kim – 16:34**

**Apply to my school. Everyone is really open here and they’ll treat you the way you deserve**

 

Trixie could feel the tears well up in her eyes again. She didn’t want to start at a new school; she would have to make new friends, well, it wasn’t like she had any at her school now; she would have to get to know new teachers, but maybe that would be a good thing because her teachers today did nothing to help her. She sighed, maybe this would be a good thing.

 

**To Kim – 16:41**

**Will you stick by my side even if everyone hates me?**

 

**From Kim – 16:41**

**Of course I will**

 

**To Kim – 16:43**

**Promise?**

 

**From Kim – 16:44**

**Promise xx**

 

Trixie sighed and rested her phone on her chest. It was time for a change.


	2. Chapter Two

Trixie couldn’t start at her new school until the following Monday. The days ticked by slowly, even though she was constantly on the go. She had new books to buy, her mum took her shopping for new clothes, and she had hundreds of texts to read from the people at her school.

Her mum worked her hardest to take Trixie’s mind off of the situation, but every time her phone vibrated, her heart got stuck in her throat and her stomach did somersaults. Not many people had her number, or were friends with her on Facebook, but after the events that went down with Roxxxy, she had texts from approximately seventy five unknown numbers, countless missed calls and one hundred and thirty nine friend requests. She read each and everyone one up until Thursday which was when her mum finally took her phone away from her.

She took it away after one particularly hard night. Peter had found out what had happened; he didn’t know why Trixie had gotten into a fight but when he saw the bruise around her eye, he became scarily angry. At first, Trixie thought that he was angry at Roxxxy because she had caused the injuries, but then he started shouting at her for not sticking up for herself. When she informed him that she did fight back, he became even angrier and Trixie couldn’t understand why. He wasn’t her father so why was he so bothered about what Trixie did or didn’t do?

She had run up to her bedroom after that, not wanting to be in his company. She was never too fond of him, and the longer he lived with them, the shorter his temper became. Trixie hated shouting, and every single time he shouted at her, she ended up in tears lying on her bed. This Thursday night, however, she only felt emptiness. No tears would come to her eyes, even when she thought over his words; how loud they were, how pointed they were and how hate dripped from each and every syllable.

She didn’t make things better for herself when she decided to play a game on her phone to pass the time. She hadn’t been on her phone all day and when she unlocked it, she saw tens and tens of notifications, all from the people at school. The majority of these people had never even spoken to her in person before, but now that she was the centre of attention, they all wanted to give her their two cents. Her mum had come into her room not shortly after and read some of the messages. She didn’t hesitate to take the phone away to try and ease the stress that was pushing down on Trixie’s shoulders.

Trixie hadn’t cried since the night of the fight. Things weren’t great, but her mum changed her number and deactivated her Facebook account which put a stop to the floods of messages and the constant reminders of how drastic her life was changing. It wasn’t until the early hours of Monday morning that Trixie broke down. She wasn’t able to sleep because the nerves were eating her alive and her mind kept taking her to places that she didn’t want to go to.

She didn’t get much sleep that night, but she was still early for her meeting, never being the biggest fan of lateness. She was sitting at a large circular table opposite a thin, bald man named Mr Charles and a lady with striking features and jet black hair named Miss Visage. To say she was nervous was an understatement. She had been in the interview for almost an hour and she hadn’t said anything more than ‘good afternoon’ even though it was the morning, and ‘where’s the bathroom’ even though she didn’t even need to go. This didn’t help her nerves because if either one of them said that they were not keen on her then they couldstill decline her entry, and that wascurrently her biggest fear.

‘Beatrice, honey, you’re going to have to talk to us so we can get to know you.’ Trixie looked up from the ink stain she was intently staring at.

‘Trixie,’ She said, ‘Just Trixie.’

‘Well, ‘just Trixie’, can I ask why you chose this school?’ Miss Visage asked, seeming to lose her patience.

‘Um, well um...you know how, like, we spoke about that thing at the beginning and how I don’t want anyone else knowing except the teachers because I get uncomfortable? And, like, only one of my friends know, well I mean, she’s literally my only frie-’

‘Trixie, you’re rambling,’ Mr Charles interrupts her and she can feel the heat rise to her face. That’s it, she’s ruined all of her chances and she’s going to have to go back to her old school, ‘Slow down and try again, we’re not trying to make you nervous.’

Trixie took a deep breath and looked down again, not being able to make eye contact with them as she spoke, ‘I don’t want anyone knowing about the thing my mum spoke to you about and everyone at my school found out last week. There was this girl that punched me because of it and chased me home. Um...there was...um...like...lots of people? And it was scary? And I’m scared it’s going to happen again. I don’t even know how she read my private emails! And then my mum had to change my mobile number because I kept getting hundreds of texts everyday from people I didn’t even know telling me I was disgusting and that...that I should k-kill my-myself.’

Trixie didn’t look up from the table once she was done because she could feel a lone tear roll down her face. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of anyone on the first day, but she wasn’t expecting to speak about the incident with Roxxxy either.

‘I can...I can just leave now. I-I’m sorry for wasting your time. But, like, thank you for giving me a chance, you have an amazing school.’ Trixie rose from her chair, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress and picking up her bag.

‘Trixie, hold on,’ Michelle said, and Trixie finally looked up at the two adults who were still staring at her, ‘Your mother explained what happened on the phone to us, and you already have a place here, we just wanted to get to know you.’

Trixie dropped her bag, ‘Oh...well now I’m embarrassed.’

‘Don’t be, we’ve seen it all here. Well, nothing quite like your situation, as we are all very accepting and open at this school. But, I promise that you have nothing to worry about and that you will settle right in.’ Mr Charles said, gathering papers that were on the table in front of him and handing them to Miss Visage

Miss Visage made her way around the table and handed Trixie the stack of paper, ‘It’s lunchtime now, would you like me to take you to the lunch hall?’

‘Um, yes please? I mean, if that’s not any trouble. I can use this map that you gave me if you want to go and have your own lunch. I don’t want to waste your time.’ Trixie picked her bag back up and slung it over her shoulder. She winced ever so slightly at the weight of the bag hitting a bruise that was still large and painful to the touch.

‘Would you like me to take your bag? Honestly, doll, I’d love to take you. I heard you know our very own Kimberly Chi, and I cannot wait to see her reaction to you showing up.’ Miss Visage seems a lot more caring than Trixie originally thought – she really needs to stop judging people straight away.

‘I’m okay with my bag, thank you. I just have a little bruise there from the altercation last week. Kim will definitely be there? Lets go, lets go, lets go! I can’t wait to see her!’ Trixie rushes out of the room and makes her way down the hall.

‘Trixie the lunch hall is this way!’ Miss Visage calls after her.

‘Oh, right, of course. I knew that!’ Trixie laughs, running up to Miss Visage.

The short walk there was silent. Trixie was skipping; she finally felt all the weight lift off of her shoulders and she excited to finally make friends. But when the lunch hall came into view and the noise of everyone talking became louder, she froze mid skip. She stood still and started tapping her fingers on her thumb. She usually did this without realising what she was doing, her fingers working on their own accord whilst her brain thought of every single bad outcome to a situation.

‘Come on Trixie, you’ll be okay.’ Miss Visage smiled at her warmly and held out her hand for Trixie to take. Should she take it? Are teachers allowed to hold hands with students? She didn’t want her peers to think she was a baby when she walked in there, but she was craving the comfort. She grabbed Miss Visage’s hand without saying a word and held onto it tightly.

They walked into the lunch hall and Trixie saw every head turn towards her. She gulped and let go of Miss Visage’s hand. She looked around the room and felt so small, all the confidence she had was gone and it was replaced by the same fear she felt when she was running away from Roxxxy just last week.

‘Trixie!’

A hard force hit her from behind and large arms wrapped around her chest. Her breath caught in her throat and for a moment she thought she was going to be choked, but turning around she was able to see who it was and she smiled larger than she had in just under a year.

‘Kim!’


	3. Chapter Three

Trixie had never had so much fun at school before. She was enjoying all of her classes, and completing all of her work on time. She even had people to sit with for lunch, instead of sitting behind the school building. Admittedly, she wasn’t too fond of being around the entire student body in one room, or how loud and hot the room always seemed to be, or how a lump grew in her throat, or how she couldn’t stomach the idea of eating. But she finally had friends, so these things didn’t matter.

Halfway through her third week, Trixie had gotten a text from Kim to say she wasn’t going to be at school that day. For the first time since attending her new school, Trixie felt alone. Even though nobody here was mean to her, not many people spoke to her yet. She could probably go and sit with Kim’s friends and be welcome, but even though she had been sitting with them at break and lunch; Kim was the only one she really spoke to. Trixie had felt isolated and she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. She could introduce herself to new people, but in the back of her mind all she could think about was her old school. She couldn’t go through all of that again, and so she kept to herself.

As the bell rang for lunch, everyone around Trixie made their way towards the lunch hall, whilst Trixie walked the other way towards her locker. She kept her head down, avoiding eye contact with everyone around her – she’d feel bad if she saw one of Kim’s friends, because even though she’s barely said a word to them, they were still quite nice.

Enrolling into a school midterm obviously meant that Trixie was left with one of the only lockers available. The locker was just like every other one in the school, except her lock always got jammed and she kept forgetting the combination. She’d usually put her things in Kim’s locker, but of course Kim didn’t come in on a PE day, of all days. Trixie rolled her eyes at the thought and attempts to open her locker. Knowing her locker would be jammed, she pulled hard on the handle, but this time, unlike ever before, the locker flew open; causing some of her books to fall to the floor from the force.

‘Oh for fucks sake.’ Trixie muttered.

She crouched down and started to collect her books. She never noticed how many she had until they were all scattered at her feet. _Why can’t the teachers look after_ _my_ _books? Or why wasn’t I born with an extra arm on my bellybutton? Maybe then I’d be able to hold all of these useless books. But then why would it be_ _on_ _the bellybutton? Would it be weird if I had arms instead of boobs? Oh of course it would be weird, but what if –_ Trixie’s thoughts were interrupted by an intense pain in her forehead. Her hand reached up to the source of the pain and she scooted away from whatever it was that hit her. She looked up, expecting to see Roxxxy standing there with his fist clenched and a smirk etched on her face. But all she saw was a small girl with dirty blonde hair staring back at her.

‘Oh Dorogaya, I am so sorry. I did not see you on the floor.’ The girl had an accent that Trixie had only ever heard in movies, but she couldn’t pin point what the accent was because the pain in her head was too intense.

Trixie attempted to move away from the girl. She didn’t know who this person was or if she meant to hurt her, but all Trixie could think about was Roxxxy and how she would have meant to have hurt her.

‘Dorogaya, no do not move. You need help, I can help.’ The girl reached towards Trixie, causing her to flinch. She could feel the tears that were welling up in her eyes finally fall down, but the girl’s hand was soft on her skin and she suddenly felt...safe? Did Trixie feel safe? She hadn’t felt safe in such a long time, that she didn’t really know if this was what safe felt like.

‘My name is Katya, da? We have classes together. I do not sit with you but you need help, come with me, we’ll get help.’ The girl, Katya, stood back up and placed all of their belongings in their respective lockers.

Katya turned back towards the girl on the floor. She had seen her around school lately, and she could never help herself from staring. She was so, so beautiful, with large brown eyes, long blonde hair, and the nicest butt that Katya had ever laid her eyes on. Katya had mentioned the girl to her friends, but none of them had paid particular attention, except Max, who sat next to her in Mr Kressley’s class. He didn’t really have much to say, apart from the fact that she kept her head in her hands, never contributed in class discussions and she “wears too much make-up”.

Katya looked around the hall and noticed that they were the only two there. Everyone would be in the lunch hall or outside by now, her own friends by the large tree at the far end of the field. She looked back down to Trixie and wondered why the girl hadn’t stood back up. The locker didn’t even hit her head _that_ hard, but there she was, curled in a ball with her hands covering her head. Katya felt sick with guilt, how was she supposed to help?

‘Hey, Trixie, right?’ Katya asked, bending down to Trixie’s height, ‘Can I have a look at your head?’

Trixie moved her hands from her head and looked up at Katya. Katya had never been good with pain, be it her or others and so when she saw the egg that was already growing on Trixie’s head, Katya could feel herself starting to freak out. It probably wasn’t a big deal, but seeing that bruise on Trixie’s head after such a _little_ bang, hundreds of thoughts were whirling around her head. _What if it’s brain damage? She hasn’t said a word, what if she’s not able to form words any more?_

‘Are you okay?’ Katya asked.

Trixie didn’t respond.

She stared at Katya with dead eyes, she didn’t seem to be taking in anything that Katya was saying.

‘You need help?’ Katya tried asking Trixie a different question, but again, to no avail.

The worry in Katya’s gut grew as Trixie closed her eyes and slowly lent her head back on the lockers behind her.

Katya jumped up and started to sprint down the hallway shouting at the top of her lungs, ‘Michelle! Michelle I killed the new girl! MICHELLE!’


	4. Chapter Four

Katya ran into Miss Visage’s office, opening the door with such force that the door bounced off the wall and came flying back into her. She would have laughed at herself if she wasn’t in such a panic.

‘Katya? What on earth are you doing?’

She looked up to see a crowd of teachers gathered around the table that was reserved for the most important meetings, a dozen pairs of eyes staring back at her.

Katya could feel the heat rise in her cheeks and she gulped, ‘I uh, I think I just killed someone.’

‘I’m quite sure you didn’t just kill someone,’ Mr Rice muttered, ‘now if you don’t mind, we’re pretty busy.’

‘No no, let her carry on.’ Miss Visage commented, she knew Katya better than anyone else in the room and she could see her body language screaming for help. She noticed how her hands were pulled close to her stomach, picking at her thumb nails. She also saw how her right foot bounced with no rhythm, and how she wasn’t looking at anyone but the older woman.

‘I think I killed the new girl.’

Katya led Miss Visage through the corridors after a short and sharp discussion with Mr Rice. They arrived at the lockers in quick succession, but the lockers that were previously baring Trixie’s weight, were now abandoned with no sign of the girl.

‘Well she’s definitely not here, I’m going to go back to the meeting, okay?’ Visage turned to Katya but the girl wasn’t paying attention, focusing instead somewhere down the hall. Her eyes followed Katya’s and spotted a blonde girl bending over the drinking fountain, ‘Trixie, are you okay?’ She called.

Miss Visage took both girls back to her office, even though the other teachers were still waiting. She sent Trixie home early, though she was adamant that she was okay and could go to lesson. Her mum came to pick her up, thanking Visage profusely for looking after Trixie. Katya was a little confused why it was such a big deal, but she guessed that her mum must just love her more than anything, and even though Katya wouldn’t admit this aloud, she was kind of jealous.

Everything went back to normal the next day, Kim was in school, Trixie’s head bump had reduced and they were sharing a locker again. Even though the two of them were back together, Trixie couldn’t stop herself from thinking about Katya. The locker incident wasn’t really a big deal, Trixie was just a little shaken up from it because of the past things she’s dealt with, and she wanted Katya to understand that everything was okay.

Come lunch time, Trixie decided she was definitely going to talk to Katya about it. As Kim and Trixie were making their way to the lunch hall, Trixie spotted the Russian going through the backdoors with a small group of people.

‘Hey,’ Trixie nudged Kim’s shoulders, making her stop in her tracks, ‘I’m going to go find Katya, I’ll see you later?

‘But you’re my friend, you’re supposed to have lunch with me.’

‘Don’t worry, Kim! I’ll probably be like ten minutes top.’ Trixie smiled, walking away before Kim could protest further.

Trixie didn’t return in ten minutes, in fact Trixie didn’t have lunch with Kim for weeks after that. Whilst she was walking outside on that first day, Katya spotted her and called out to her.

 

‘ _Trixie!’ Katya shouted, spotting the tall girl coming out of the building, ‘Hey, Trixie!’_

_Trixie turned around several times before she saw Katya, but when she noticed her, her face visibly lit up. Admittedly she knew Katya from her classes and she thought that she possibly had a crush on the shorter girl, but after that embarrassing encounter yesterday, she knew nothing would come of it._

‘ _Hi! I was_ _just_ _coming outside to see you,’ Trixie said, making her way over, ‘I wanted to talk about yesterd-’_

‘ _I am_ so _sorry about that,’ Katya interrupted, ‘I did not see you on the floor and I promise it was accident.’_

‘ _That’_ _s_ _what I wanted to say, I knew it was an accident. It honestly didn’t hurt that much, I was just in a bit of shock, I guess. The mark is already going away.’_

 _The two girls smiled at each other for what would have been an awkwardly_ _long time for anyone else, but for what felt like seconds to them._

 

Over the next for weeks they got to know each other and Trixie fit right in with Katya’s friendship group.

Violet and Pearl seemed to be attached at the hip. The two were always seen together, and the one time that Pearl was stuck at home because she was sick, Violet seemed to distance herself from her friends – not making any of her usual snide remarks. Pearl was an avid artist, and Violet wanted to be a model so the two of them worked well together. On most days, Pearl would sit with her back resting on the large oak tree that they all sat beneath whilst she sketched whatever her friends were doing, but even though she drew all of them, Violet was somehow always the one that your eyes were drawn to first. Pearl and Katya met when Katya first moved here, they both shared a love for art and Visage thought it would be good if Pearl showed Katya around. The two were only supposed to be in each others company for an hour or so, but they seemed to spend everyday together since that day. Pearl and Violet were already dating at that point and so their two quickly became a three, and then a four when Max came along.

The only boy in the group was Max. He moved here from England seven years ago with his parents, but due to some circumstances that Trixie still doesn’t know, he’s moved into a little home with some other students in similar situations. He’s known Katya for almost that entire time, and they’ve been friends for the majority of it. He loves to talk about his home country and his passions, but he doesn’t speak very often, preferring to observe the world around him. He was taller than all of his other friends and had dyed grey hair (which Katya dyed rainbow last pride), and he was the one that wouldn’t judge you or criticise you for whatever you’ve done.

The last to join their group (other than Trixie) was Missy. Missy used to hang out with a group of girls that love nothing more than to stare at their reflection in the mirror all day long, and even though Missy fits into that group physically, she never truly felt like she belonged. One day a few years ago, she had finally had enough of the prissiness and she decided to talk to Violet. She wasn’t very welcoming at first, but warmed up just as Missy was about to give up. The two had a lot in common with their career goals and future aspirations, but Missy was always nicknamed the ‘misfit’ of their group. They didn’t mean it in a bad way, and in all honestly she quite liked the name.

And then there was Katya. She seemed to be the glue of the group, as they were all somehow connected to each other through her. She was the one that always told the funniest jokes, the one who laughed the loudest and the one who would always listen to you, even when no one else would. Sometimes she made no sense, and sometimes she accidentally spoke Russian, forgetting that her friends couldn’t understand. But no one cared, and over the years most of her friends had picked up a word or two (except Trixie of course, only knowing her for around a month. But Katya did always call her ‘detka’ and she started to recognise that it was a nice word of some sort). Katya was the kind of person who would help you with your work before she had done her own, who would understand that sometimes you were upset but didn’t want to talk, and so she would embrace you in the tightest hug and somehow put you back together without any words. But she also seemed to be the person with the darkest shadow looming behind her, and Trixie has caught Katya staring off into the distance with a frown pulling on her lips more than once now.

The next time Trixie spent lunch inside was almost a month after that first encounter, when the teachers wouldn’t allow anyone to go outside due to a storm. None of the girls really enjoyed being stuck indoors, Pearl didn’t feel comfortable enough to get her sketchbook out, Max hated loud noises and small spaces, Violet didn’t like many other people in the school and the others just preferred the freedom of being outside.

‘We could go and sit with Kim, if you want to?’ Trixie suggested, ‘She sits in this quiet area that has more seats than people.’

Pearl and Violet decided to see if they could spend their lunch in one of the art rooms, but other than them everyone else agreed to follow Trixie. Katya was excited to finally speak to Kim, only really knowing her from what Trixie had told her.

The room was slightly more crowded that usual because of the rain, but the small group of friends spotted Kim with ease – she was sitting in the quietest corner with some of the people that Trixie met when she first came. She remembers Naomi because she was the tallest girl she had ever laid her eyes on, and she would often get into trouble because even though she would wear knee length skirts, they didn’t appear knee length on her. There was also Shea and Bob, but they seemed to be talking to new people that Trixie hadn’t met yet.

‘What are you doing here?’ Kim asks as they approach the table.

‘We can’t go outside so I thought we could come sit with you.’ Trixie replied, taking the empty seat to Kim’s left. The others followed suit and took the other empty chairs around the table.

‘Well, you haven’t bothered to come here in like a month so what’s the point?’

‘I talk to you in literally every class we have together and you’ve never mentioned a problem before?’ Trixie was trying to keep herself calm, but she didn’t understand why Kim was suddenly acting like they hadn’t spoken in years.

‘Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Stay today but I don’t want you to come and bother me at lunch again.’

‘Kim, what the fuck are you on?’

Kim rolled her eyes and without saying a word she grabbed Trixie by her elbow and pulled her up. Trixie muttered a little ‘ow’ which grabbed the attention of Katya who was previously muttering away in Russian to the bald girl who was sat next to Shea. Trixie shook her head slightly when she saw Katya’s questioning eyes, silently telling her that it was nothing to worry about.

The two girls carried on walking until they in the nearest toilets, making sure they were away from any prying ears. Kim dragged Trixie into the largest cubicle and locked the door.

‘What are you doing?’ Trixie asked, ‘Why are you locking the door?’

‘Just in case someone comes in.’ Kim replied, turning away from the door and facing Trixie.

‘What does that matter? What the fuck are you doing?’

Kim sighed, ‘I just want to talk in private about our friendship.’

‘There’s nothing to talk about though? I thought we had a great friendship.’

‘So did I! But then all of a sudden you’ve gone from the lonely new kid who clearly has some issues to this popular twat who’s friends with everyone. That’s not you.’

Trixie’s mouth fell open and she subconsciously took a step back from Kim, ‘I’ve made five friends, I literally only talk to them and you. I don’t understand where all of this is coming from, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to go back to them now.’

She tried to move past Kim, but the other girl stood in front of the lock, blocking the only exit, ‘Do you have a crush on Katya?’

‘What’s it to you? You clearly don’t like me any more so just stay the fuck out of my business.’ Trixie snapped, attempting once more to push Kim out of the way.

‘Because I care about you, Trix. I was the only person who befriend you in our old school, but you’re starting to make me regret it.’

‘Well then let me fucking go! If you regret my friendship then leave me the fuck alone, I never asked you to drag me here, I could easily be hanging out with the people that actually want to be my friends.’ Trixie snapped, finally losing her patience.

_Where had all this come from?_

‘They’re only friends with you because they feel bad.’

‘No they’re not, we get along great. And besides, it’s none of your business.’

‘I know you like Katya.’

Trixie looked away from Kim and stared at her shoes. She could do with a new pair really, as there was mud all over them and holes in the bottom, the laces were too short on the right shoe as they were taken from a different pair not too long ago.

‘I knew it! That’s what this is all about,’ Kim muttered, ‘Look, Trixie, I have your best interests at heart.’

She reached over and placed her hands on Trixie’s shoulders, bending over so they’re looking in each other’s eyes. Trixie shrugged her hands off and took another step back, but bumping into the stall wall instead. _No you don’t, you literally just said you regret our friendship,_ Trixie thought.

‘You can’t date her.’

‘Why not?’ Trixie finally spoke up.

‘Because then you’d have to tell her about why you came here in the first place. If you didn’t then it wouldn’t be fair on her.’

‘It’s no ones business but mine.’

‘Well, if Katya and her friends find out that you’re keeping a huge secret from them, you’ll have no one. They won’t like you any more and I won’t let you come crawling back to me. So make wise decisions, _Miss_ Mattel, if you leave them now and come hang out with me again we can forget this whole thing happened.’

Kim smiled and then turned to walk out of the stall, leaving Trixie more confused than she had ever been in her life. _She hates me now and she regrets being my friend, but if I ditch my new friends it’ll all be forgotten? What the fuck?_

A voice interrupts her thoughts from somewhere else in the toilets,

‘Keeping what secret from us, Trixie?’

 


End file.
